(a) absurdism
(b) you parked where it said no
(c) all of the above

Dear Scum -

My favourite part of being at work sometimes is opening the mail. It's like the most intense opposite of my birthday every day!

Case of the Februarys

This week at work:

-Someone walked up to my counter and threatened "TO SUE ME" (individually, me) "FOR HARRASSMENT". I reminded them that they were the first person to approach me, and then they said they'd take me to THE SUPREME COURT. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and earrings.

-A pregnant woman, who thought she was in Zeller's? called the complaints department (which doesn't exist), and left a voicemail asking for "Head Office" to call her back. I have the notion she doesn't vote.

-A man almost boastingly told me that he needs to park on the street to protect his friend from her ex-husband. He says (squints eyes) that he "has killed before". He said he used to work as the guy who "executes the driver" -- and that in all his life he "never missed a shot". I don't know why he told me this, but its safe to say I almost crapped my pants driving home after work.

"Thank you! Have a nice weekend! Park legally - for the love of god, park legally"

Back in the Saddle Again....

A man with no teeth yelled and spat at me today that TODAY IS ELVIS'S BIRTHDAY (FOR CHRISTSAKES). This happened just before he taught me how to make a picture of Osama Bin Laden with a $5.00 bill. It's a pleasure to say I've returned to Parking because heck, I must have missed all of the valuable knowledge I gain here.